Stuart Blumberg’s Thanks For Sharing is a much softer and more humane look at the trials and tribulations of sexual addiction than is Steve McQueen’s 2011 Shame. Both movies broach this once taboo topic with relatively deep character studies. While both films tell fairly compelling stories, neither earned much at the box office. Together, the two movies generated just over $4 million domestically. I think that fact that these two movies were both made over two years and the two attracted stars like Mark Ruffalo, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tim Robbins, Michael Fassbender, and Carey Mulligan shows that there are those in Hollywood who want to bring the issue come to light even if the general public is still a little reluctant to make it to the theater to check out these movies on the big screen.
Whereas Shame was a much harder look at sexual addiction and a much more difficult viewing experience, it was, by far, the better and more thought-provoking movie. Shame is the move that people will be talking about for years to come. Thanks For Sharing was a bit lighthearted for the subject matter at hand. It wasn’t a comedy because it was making fun of the addiction, but it still had plenty of moments that made you laugh. Unfortunately, you aren’t likely to even smile during a viewing of Shame. Thanks For Sharing follows three individuals, each at different stages of their lives and recovery processes. Ruffalo (The Kids Are All Right, Reservation Road) is the movie’s lead character. He plays Adam, a sex addict who is five years sober. As discussed in the film, Sober means not engaging in any activity outside of a meaningful, monogamous relationship. It also means not looking at any pornographic material or masturbating.
In any case, Adam is regularly at sexual addiction meetings just as alcoholics would go to alcoholic anonymous meetings. At these meetings, he is often joined by Mike (Robbins – The Shawshank Redemption, Mystic River), a married man who seems to have control of his impulses much more than the other sex addicts in the movie but who replaces this need with his need to try to control situations and those around him, including his wife Katie (Joely Richardson – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Patriot) and son Danny (Patrick Fugit – We Bought a Zoo, The Horsemen). His past has done a number on him, and he’s still trying to get a grip on life outside his addiction. While he seems to be good at his job and a great sponsor, he still needs to work to be a better husband and father. The final addict in the trio is Neil (Josh Gad – Love and Other Drugs, Jobs). Though considerably younger than the other two men, Neil is a successful doctor who cannot control his impulses. He rides the subway so that he can rub against attractive women. He reaches his “low” when caught with a camera, filming a female co-worker underneath her dress. He is subsequently fired. The difference between Neil and the other two characters is that he is still in the infancy of his recovery process and predictably lies about any of the early successes he may have had in working towards becoming sober.
Adam is the real story, though. Ruffalo is believable as the movie’s lead character. He doesn’t volunteer his story at addiction meetings (we can assume he did this years ago). So we don’t know much about the past behaviors that make him a sex addict until he meets Phoebe (Paltrow – Shakespeare in Love, Iron Man). Adam has been engulfed in his work as an environmental consultant in his five years of sobriety. He travels frequently, and each time he does, he asks the hotel to remove the television from his room and ensures that the laptop computer he receives has all kinds of parental controls that would keep him from being lured to websites he knows he shouldn’t be visiting. Painstakingly, he tries his hardest to remove all of the temptations from his life. If we don’t feel for him instantly, we do after we see the efforts he goes through in his attempts to stay sober. While he’s overachieved at his job and seems to control his addiction, it has been at the cost of his personal life. He’s afraid to start over with someone and to give love a chance again. Part of this has to do with not wanting to hurt someone if he falls off the wagon, and part of it is the embarrassment of sharing this with someone he cares about intimately and wondering what she might say, think, or think do. The onscreen chemistry between Ruffalo and Paltrow is good. The attraction between the two feels fresh and natural. We want it to work out between the two and sort of cringe with Adam as he tries to figure out how he will explain his addiction to Phoebe and if she will be able to accept it and accept him or not. When he eventually tells her about it, we learn about his past vices that led to his addiction and the remedies he puts in place today to help control them.
P!nk (yep, that P!nk) also stars as a recovering sex addict. She’s excellent in her role as Dede and forms a nice friendship with Neil. She’s not just a side character, either. We get to know her problems and how she handles her addictions. She’s the only notable female face of addiction in this movie and is an effective part of the story. Richardson and Fugit equally effectively bring Mike’s problems to the surface. He is patient and understanding with his fellow addicts but angry and callous with those who matter to him the most. His public profile is very different from his private one, and while it’s great to see that he seems to have his sexual addiction under control, it is essential to see that his life is by no means perfect.
Overall, it’s an entertaining movie that discusses a topic that hasn’t received much discussion until recent years. It’s got a great cast. The acting is well above average. This is the way to go if you want a movie that has a softer look on the topic. If you want a film that looks at not just this addiction but the recovery that people attempt to combat this addiction, this is the way to go. Shame is the way to go if you want a much harder look at the topic that doesn’t even touch on the recovery process (Fassbender’s character isn’t there yet). So maybe see one or maybe see them both. If it’s still too taboo, you’d be okay avoiding them. But maybe don’t completely forget about them entirely. Both are movies, I think, that are worth seeing.
Plot 9.5/10
Character Development 9/10
Character Chemistry 9/10
Acting 8.5/10
Screenplay 8.5/10
Directing 8.5/10
Cinematography 7.5/10
Sound 7.5/10
Hook and Reel 8.5/10 (I was never bored and enjoyed the movie the more we got to know each character)
Universal Relevance 9/10
84.5%
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